Birthmom Drawings

Last Sunday as we were driving home from church, I asked the boys what they wanted to do the rest of the day. I was giving them several options that would be good "Sunday" activities (and would also allow me to sneak in a nap...hee hee).

Bryce said that he wanted to draw a picture for his birthmom and send it to her. He hadn't ever mentioned meeting or communicating with his birthmom yet but it was at about this age that Zack started asking too. It sounded like a great idea to me but we haven't been in contact with Bryce's birthmom since he was about 18 months old. So Bryce drew his picture, I got together a few recent photos of Bryce and our family, and we sent them off to the agency in hopes it would somehow get forwarded on to her. We included our email address and we are in hopes that we hear from Dixie soon!

Waiting Gaps

So while we're waiting to hear something from a birthmom, news comes in spurts. We'll get a slew of emails and then hear nothing for weeks. It's been several weeks since we've heard anything. At times I almost forget we are waiting which I guess is better than going crazy over it. Our case worker told us our file is requested frequently and that it's just a matter of time. Tick tock...

Meanwhile, we were so excited for our good friends who finally just got their precious little girl. Rich and Kris we are so happy for you!! We are so happy that all is going well and she has adjusted so well. I love happy endings.

Thanks Ladies

I know I've talked about this before but we live in a great place and have amazing friends that support and appreciate adoption beyond anything I've ever seen.

Last night was my friend's baby shower. She is adopting her daughter from Korea in the next couple of months after far too many months of drama and waiting. I'm so excited for her and it was so fun to celebrate this exciting event with her. There were so many women there, some from our church, some not, who were all so thrilled for Kris and this chance she has to adopt. At least 3 of us there have adopted children of our own and have been through many "painful" baby showers but adoption baby showers are different. They are full of hope and bonding. As she opened all the gifts for her daughter, I just loved how much people had thought about this little baby on the way and how they could give something that would help with transition and love and acceptance.

These ladies may not have known that they made an impact on me but I'm grateful for sensitive and open and accepting friends who are so encouraging and thoughtful especially when we're going through long drawn out adoption processes. You ladies are awesome!

Harder but Better

The first two times we adopted, adoption in general was a lot different than it is today. What a difference 5 years makes. Things now are much more open and information is shared much more freely. With our first 2 adoptions, we never heard anything until we got the phone call that we had been chosen by a birth mom. From there on, you went into planning mode and were able to somewhat organize your life. This time around, there is much more contact between birth parents and adoptive parents before, throughout, and after selection.

We are dealing with the before aspect right now. We have received several emails from birth moms. Some of them seem promising, some do not. However, each one gets your heart fluttering. Any little scrap of hope keeps your brain hopping with possibilities. The stress level increases. Once again, I'm a slave to the computer hoping for a response or instant message. This part is much harder emotionally than it was before with no contact previous to selection. However...

It's an amazing experience to have these conversations with birth moms, to open their eyes somewhat to adoption and the blessings and love that are involved in the process. Some who have no one else to confide in or turn to will initiate conversation and we feel lucky to be the ones on the other side of the conversation. Yes, we are praying that one of these situations will work out for us. But, we realize that although we sometimes feel like we have it hard, these birth parents are going through something much more difficult and we empathize with them.

The roller coaster continues. We continue to anticipate, weather, and grow through the twists and turns.

Reassurances

The other day, I was at the park with my kids and my friend's kids and I just kind of sat back on the bench and watched them all interact. My friend's youngest is 2 and it was so cute to watch Zack around him. Zack basically bailed on everything he likes to do at the park and played with Jamison the whole time. He helped him when he tripped and he made suggestions of different places to play. He asked him if he was thirsty and if he had to go potty (although he's in diapers). He held him on his lap going down the slide. For an hour he was devoted to his cute little friend. I am just constantly reassured that he is going to be a great big brother to our next baby...whenever we receive that blessing.

Slave to the Computer

I forgot how hard waiting is or maybe I knowingly blocked it out. I find myself googling like crazy to find places to post a classified or do anything I can to get us out there. We've had a couple of situations forwarded to us from friends of friends (keep them coming by the way) and we have jumped on them but have heard nothing. I was talking to my good friend Kris J, who is waiting for her baby in Korea, last night at t-ball practice and we were talking about how much harder it is if you think there is a possibility for you rather than just having no prospects at all. It makes you CRAZY. I check my email constantly...Robb is IM'ing me all the time to see if I've heard anything. I try to get my mind on other things but it just always drifts back. It makes me want to eat ice cream or go shopping...but I will abstain. In my prayers this morning, I asked Heavenly Father to please help me be patient with His timeline and where ever our baby is right now to please take care of him/her.

Baby Clothes

Last Saturday, we were coming home from an exhausting afternoon swimming at the rec center and we asked the boys what they wanted to do the rest of the evening. Zack piped right up and said, "Let's go buy some baby clothes!" We kind of chuckled and asked why we would do that. Zack said, "Because we're going to get a baby and I think it's going to be soon." (From Zack's lips to God's ears...) We asked him if he would get boy or girl clothes. He then realized we didn't know what kind to buy yet since we haven't been selected. It was so cute to see how excited he was though. He's going to be a great big brother.